Thinking Aloud

It has been almost two months since the last time I posted my latest blog. Simply, I have been very busy with my new job.

Before I started my job, I committed myself to ‘unlearn’, ‘learn’ and ‘relearn’ anything. I got more than that.

I am now a small fish in a big ocean. I used to be a bigger fish in a small pond.

I was proud for my presentation skill, but it was shot down three weeks a go. I drafted a Power Point presentation to be presented during meeting with all Directors and until now, the 5th revision, I still could not get it through. The organization uses different concepts and approaches for Power Point slides, something that I am not used to.

I was proud for my ability to handle stress. Now, it has been tested consistently in the past few weeks. It really tests my limit. The same is to my ability to manage my time.

There are many other examples. I don’t want to put all of them here; otherwise this blog becomes a laundry list of problems.

So, do I sound like a person who work for a wrong company, or wrong job? Many people try to avoid stress, looking for easier jobs; and here I am deliberately looking for challenges and punishing myself.

Well, I have a bigger objective that I want to reach, so I must be able to endure this. Every time I face a challenge that I think I could not cope, I always go back to what SP, my mentor, told me: “Comfort zone is your biggest enemy. You are still young; you need to consistently find new challenges, not to settle down doing something you are familiar with again-and-again. Learn and you will grow.”

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I will work for new employer tomorrow. Deep in my heart I also have a fear that I may not be able to perform in the new company, the feeling that I always have every time I change the employer. Will my new boss like me? Will the team accept me? Will I be able to handle all works? Will I be able to perform above average? Will …

No, I don’t have a doubt about myself. I guess it is human to have fear and it is also human to be able to conquers those fears.

The new job will present me with a lot of challenges; many are the first to me. This is, in fact, the reason I chose this company over other offers I received.
I hope I can learn from those challenges, to improve my self and to attain a higher level in my career. Lastly, the most important thing, to give significant contributions to the company I work for.

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Today is my last day with U21Global. I have been with the company for four years. Another year, and I am eligible for the long-service award

Many colleagues at U21Global asked me what are the reasons for me to leave the company, specifically whether the reasons are more ‘push’, or ‘pull’ factors.

Well, the answer is actually both. I must say it was tough to decide to leave the company with great environment and colleagues. Many of my colleagues have become my friends.

However, I realized that I could not stay put because of that reason alone. If I follow that, I may (slowly but sure), fall to my comfort zone. I need to explore new things. I am still young (that’s what all interviewers told me) and I should take more challenges. This is the ‘push’ factor.

The pull factor is of course the challenges and the $$$. Well, actually the $$$ is good only if I perform well in the company. I will do what I wanted to do, with greater responsibilities. I will also potentially learn many new things.

Many people said it is not easy to work for the government. However, I treat it as a challenge. SP - one of my ex-supervisors and the person I consider as my mentor - advised that I need to consistently find new challenges, not to settle down doing something I am familiar with again-and-again. Only when I am 50 years old I can do the later (and start thinking about retirement). I value her advice and I found it useful when I need to make decision between two job offers I received.

I left the company before the company could find the replacement. However, it does not mean I did not help the company. I can say I have prepared my departure, even on the day I joined the company.

Writing documentations is one of my skills I have. I wrote extensive documentations for any works/projects I undertook in the company. Everyone in the department knows that I always wrote very long and detailed documentations. The documentations were written with intention to help anyone to do my works without my supervision.

The last documentation I wrote was the ‘super documentation’. It lists down the purpose and location of all documentations I had produced. On top of that, there are also updated information on some processes and systems that are not covered in other documentations. That super documentation is not short, it is 35 pages long! I don’t think my replacement will have problem in understanding my works or processes in place, instead he or she may have a problem in reading all documentations.

I will start working again on 21st of April. However, it does not mean I will be sitting doing nothing. I have my calendar full with many activities, including lunch and dinner appointments :-). I also need to take some refreshment courses for some skills I acquired long time a go, such as my CPR (the last training I had was in 1995). On top of that, there is a stack of books waiting to be read …

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Last week, 11th of Mar to be precised, I tendered my resignation from my current position at U21 Global.

My last day with U21Global is on 10th of April. I will start working for the new employer on 21st of April.

At the moment, I can only say that I will be joining the CIO Office of one of the stat-boards.

More to come later …

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As I mentioned earlier, I used my birthday as day for reflection and planning for the next year. This year is different. I had many things to consider and decide and those may affect my own future. I will reveal them one-by-one on this blog, however let’s start with one thing: I will introduce many changes to my life this year.

I realized I get deeper into my comfort zone and while it makes me comfortable and less adaptable to changes, things that may not be good for me in the future.

I also need to be more decisive on things that more-and-less run on automatic mode. Decisions that I postponed in the past for fear upsetting the balance will be carried on, changing my perception about the balance: a little bit of chaos is good.

Around the corner, I need to make not only one, but two decisions. Those two involve many people, some of whom – regrettably – may be offended by my decision.

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